I just dont know

I don't know what to say... feeling very un-motivated at the moment. Been writing a lot for work I guess and this has left me brain dead... I will say this, I want to be a philosopher. Not like a philosopher in the form of a teacher or scholastic but in the form of someone who gets to sit and think, ponder the important stuff and then have people actually care about what I come up with. Anyone can sit and think really, its more the caring that is important. In that I do not come from a family of extreme wealth (aka I am going to have to have a job) I can not just sit around and think and have no one care about it, I would starve. I could try to live off my girlfriend but she has said in no uncertain terms that that simply will not fly. So now the question becomes how to get a world full of people who's mushy heads are filled with inane crap to fill those potato piles they call brains with MY inane crap? So far no answer to this question, perhaps this should be what I ponder. However this really seems to cheapen the whole basis of sitting and thinking... so on second that I shall not try to answer that question. Maybe it is one of those things that you can't find until you stop looking for it, or maybe you just have to be a shallow greedy fucko and not care about principles and just chase the dollar, who knows.